There’s no denying it: the Indian media like talking about Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston’s divorce, and they just love talking about what’s going on between him and Angelina Jolie. Check the entertainment sections of Sify, Hindustan Times, or any other online newspaper on any given day if you disagree. In fact, one might say that the Indian media is so obsessed that it won’t be long until we see a Bollywood production of this gripping, ongoing saga of lust and betrayal.

Who would you like to see cast as Brad, Jen, and Angelina? I’d have to say the obvious choice for Brad would have to be none other than Shahrukh Khan. Same age, same superstar status in their respective countries, except SRK has said that he’ll never kiss his heroines on the lips. Mr. Pitt kisses his heroines on the lips and then poses with their kids in magazines.

For Jennifer, I’ll have to go with Aishwarya Rai - why not? She suffered through her own rocky relationship with Salman Khan, so she has some background on the subject matter, and she’s pretty easy on the eyes. Plus, who can’t sympathize with The Most Beautiful Woman in the World? Maybe something scandalous will go down on the set between her and Brad while filming Buddha, blurring the lines between fiction and reality for our little love triangle. Which would then become a rectangle, I guess. The media circus will make sure our film has a solid opening weekend and maybe, in a bizzare and ironic turn of events, Ash will become a Scientologist robot.

And what about Angelina? Well, she was born into Hollywood royalty as Jon Voight’s daughter, so Bollywood Princess Kareena Kapoor comes to mind. They’ve both had some interesting experiences at award shows, with Angelina getting a little too close with her brother James Haven at the 2000 Oscars, and Kareena forcing the creation of her own Filmfare Award. But poor Kareena will probably need some collagen injections to even try to mess with Angelina’s lips.

The supporting cast could include Haley Joel Osment as Angelina’s son Maddox, but he hit puberty a little while ago and now no one’s paying attention. Dakota Fanning is Hollywood’s “it” girl right now (under four feet), and she’s pretty good too. Maybe they can get her a wig. Nevermind that Maddox is Cambodian.

Hit songs can include “Nobody’s Hot Enough For Me (Brad’s Theme),” “I’m Such a Free Spirit (Angelina’s Theme),” and “Damn (Jen’s Theme).”

This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 2nd, 2005 at 2:36 pm and is filed under Bollywood. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.